It's no secret that I love change, I thrive on variety and exploration. So when I saw this quote a few days ago it sang to me, loud and clear.
I spent my entire youth and well into my adult years dreaming of the life I thought I wanted. You know the one: a house, family, adoring husband.
It wasn't until years after my divorce that I realized this was in fact the life I didn't want. Not that the house and adoring husband wouldn't be wonderful (I'd consider them a bonus actually) but being pinned down, stuck in a role society said I should spend my life in, just wasn't gonna do it anymore.
Getting divorced was a huge wake up call for me. For the first time in my life I was free! I was the one calling all of the shots. I was finally able to be the real me without worry of what someone (or anyone) else thought about it.
It was liberating to say the least. There were many times growing up and in my marriage when I questioned whether living was even worth it. I saw no value or talent in my own life. I was just this invisible girl who wasn't good enough.
I never felt like I was enough for anyone, including myself, to take any chances on. I can see now how my own self image ultimately became true in my marriage because that's what I continuously projected. It's no wonder my marriage ended badly, how on earth could I make someone else happy when I couldn't even be happy myself.
I've come to know in my heart that NO ONE and I mean no one can make you happy. Your happiness is your own responsibility. It's not your job to make other people happy it's their own.
Now, I'm not saying this was the only reason things didn't work out. There were countless other problems and I'm definitely not taking all the blame; marriage takes two people to make it work.
But I've gotten older, maybe even a tiny bit wiser, and I've come to see the damage I myself inflicted. Luckily the years also let me grow, change and become the me I really was all along.
Which brings me back to my quote. Had I not experienced my marriage and subsequent divorce I wouldn't have come back to "me". I wouldn't have taken the countless chances (or adventures, as I call them) that lead me to where I am now.
I wouldn't have started crafting or making art, both of which fill my soul with pure joy. I wouldn't have moved to Washington where her abundance of natural beauty calls to my soul every second of every day. I wouldn't have realized that I am worth the chances I take, that I deserve a life of happiness and that settling for anything less is unacceptable.
So, as the quote emphasizes: your "job" WILL put money in your pocket but adventure (be it outside in the world, metaphorically, or just an adventurous chance you take) will change your life forever and bring happiness to your soul.
Don't spend your life stuck. Take that adventure, that next big step!
Your soul will thank you.
"Til next time,
Misty
P.S. I've applied for an awesome summer photography program...keep your fingers crossed for me.
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